Twenty One

anxiety, know, and manga image

Lately
I became unease
Of things so easy
Of things so little
Yet this mind can't bear the angst

Stupid
Shit so stupid
It's so stupid I cried
It's so stupid I refuse to bide
It's so stupid that I lied
It's so stupid I'm screaming inside
So loud that my body shivers
The pain of discomfort lingers
Discomfort in my own skin
I scratch to every itch
Yet all I attain is bleeding pain

I woke up at night
Cry and cry
Why can't I just die
Yet too many thoughts gushing in my mind
Voices screaming I could barely bind

I can't do it to my mom
I can't shame my dad
I can't let them spend
More to my waste

Thoughts
Are haunting
It disturbs you
In ways you can't envisage
Shit makes me repeat things I don't want to
Just to have balance of imbalance
I can't even perceive!




- wolf

Comments

aienienka said…
I feel you sister. But dont be so hard on yourself. She just want to be happy. ^^

ps: Halamak, pdn mcm ingat² lpe wolf ni... sorry la. anak dah dua, otak makin byk hilang wayar. -_-!
ray said…
It's hard for me to say this but the feelings, they are real. trust me, i've been through it too and it was super hard. time will heal but it'll take a lot more time than you think to recover and heal. I hope you'll feel better. maybe not now but someday or anytime when the time comes.

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