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Twenty seven

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Let's start the year with a sad tone. Don't you know baby I've been having trouble sleeping lately Sleeping two to three hours maybe Cause of my neverending anxiety Keeps haunting me Everything I do I have to think evidently  Yet everything I think kept screaming at me Baby We both came in this reality Different wombs different identity Different lives different mentality Why can't you see The only thing that we hold constantly Is trying to stand independently  Not to hustle any Only our own energy Baby I miss you and you miss me Writing this poem calms me Because I want to think wisely To choose the form of words carefully Trying not to hurt your feelings baby Everyday I wish for my death Everyday I wish for your kiss And I thought of you in every breath And I thought of you in every bliss Mind the vow that gradually fades Not to leave each other Not to destroy our rapture Not to maim my figure Not to hurt my lover It's been years but felt like decades I never told

Twenty six

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  Sleeping is a quest A quest to stop the present interpretation of the eyes, nose and mouth A quest for the brain to either stop or keep steering Either way, your body stayed In a place, at a time Sleeping is a ritual A ritual of repose Both for the phren and pneuma A ritual for the soul to enter the other realm Swayed by the mental unconsciously seeking Seeking of things one may never know Not many possessed the gift A beautiful dream to keep And a terrible nightmare to have Either way, your body stayed In a place, at a time Sleeping is a venture A venture of sanity or insanity You could only choose To be or not to be one To do or not to do things One choice At one time In one place Either way, your body stayed In a place, at a time Sleeping is a deed A deed with a price It can be good it can be bad It can be happy it can be sad The price must be pay with precious time Some may have and some may not But to some, with all the wealth It will never be enough No matter how much is poured

Twenty Five

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It's an old poem. But then again, everything here is old. It's getting harder and harder To breath  To stay awake To get out of bed To stay alive To get things done To wash this face To give a fuck It's been  a while Since I told some tales Everything's in a pile A pile of wails It's been harder and harder Just to move the lid  Where's all the ardour That I had when I was a kid There is no life Left in this body Nothing feels alive It just feels heavy It won't move away From this stone-hard bed My soul's been astray  Just like the dead These feelings I tried so hard To disregard Instead I'm falling apart Everyday, it keeps draining I started forgetting Am I breathing  So I tried to stop thinking And started doing Anything To keep my mind off things Although everything is really tiring I have to care To atleast care But when I do There's this thing That's always been there And it hurts  For no reason It's painful So...   So painful... It d

Twenty Four

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Today I just lost a bestfriend No I just lost my title as a bestfriend No she's just misunderstood Never thought she would But it made me realize I never had one Since no one had a thought about me Or atleast good things to say about Funny how I claim I never need anybody Oh the things I shout Welp I'm a bad friend anyway Where was I when you needed me Where was my shoulder when you're falling I wasn't there to pickup the pieces I wasn't there to celebrate Sure hell wasn't there to make you smile again Memories come running down in piles Guilt and forced feelings throughout the years Yet one constant thing that made me smile Was knowing someone stayed and made it bearable Her her I stayed alive for her. It was a sword that was swung That split it into two No it's not broken It's just sliced Nothing happen Oh look how many knives there are Oh look how much that I've shoved It's been so long that I fo

Twenty Three

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"How are you happy all the time?" Yeah I wonder that too What's so great about being a mime I keep it all inside that I forgot what's true That I can't control myself to forget I just do But then the wave comes And everything that's kept came bursting All the emotions kept coming Yet I still don't understand How come I don't recall What emotion I felt? I don't remember the angst I hate knowing that I was happy Even though been thrown shit and spit I was always happy I hate knowing that I was hurt My feelings were treated like dirt But I stayed happy So long Too long I forgot a lot of things And remembered unnecessary things They said leave the lies Remember what's nice I don't even know now What to feel I have to remind myself  When I'm happy When I'm angry Is it forced? How to feel? What is feel? Why we feel? Feelings are exhausting And I'm drained 3:22

Twenty Two

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Maybe a thought Just a thought That you can be new In a place You can be you That you knew You can be a better you Who knew That that's you But thoughts are scary It can be frightening For what was once a thought Became something you ponder about Longer and longer It turns over It made you mad It made you sad It made you scared It made you dead Thoughts can keep you up at night And haunts you again in the broad daylight Whispering in you ear Disturbing what you hear Sometimes it make you furious Sometimes it make you bilious Be careful dear mind Please be fine. 2:31 a.m wolf

Twenty One

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Lately I became unease Of things so easy Of things so little Yet this mind can't bear the angst Stupid Shit so stupid It's so stupid I cried It's so stupid I refuse to bide It's so stupid that I lied It's so stupid I'm screaming inside So loud that my body shivers The pain of discomfort lingers Discomfort in my own skin I scratch to every itch Yet all I attain is bleeding pain I woke up at night Cry and cry Why can't I just die Yet too many thoughts gushing in my mind Voices screaming I could barely bind I can't do it to my mom I can't shame my dad I can't let them spend More to my waste Thoughts Are haunting It disturbs you In ways you can't envisage Shit makes me repeat things I don't want to Just to have balance of imbalance I can't even perceive! - wolf